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Stephanie Schwartz's avatar

Nothing fills me with a sense of purpose more than helping a friend in a bind. I admit that I do it as much for myself as for them!

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Abby Davisson's avatar

Right? It feels SO good to be helpful. Such a win/win! Your friends no doubt appreciate you so much.

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Alison Fragale's avatar

Always the best thing in my inbox!

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Abby Davisson's avatar

Thank you! That's high praise since I know your inbox is overflowing!

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Yael Schonbrun's avatar

I love-love-love these insights about asking for help, Abby, especially the fascinating research on rejection psychology. I'll also note that you're someone I turn to when I need help precisely because you create such a safe space to be vulnerable (though I promise I won't ask you to share your tailor's details since that professional relationship is clearly classified above top secret). And congrats on your paperback launch!

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Abby Davisson's avatar

All of this means a great deal to me, Yael. Thank you for being so supportive and modeling vulnerability - there’s so much strength in that. And haha re: my tailor, who has clearly sworn me to secrecy!

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Colin M. Fisher's avatar

It was a pleasure to feature you, Abby!

This is such a great topic and one near and dear to my heart (a lot of my research is about the promises and perils of organizations with strong cultures of helping). We should also give a shoutout to Vanessa Bohns's (nee Lake) research on one more reason to ask for help: We severely underestimate how willing others are to help us:

http://doi.apa.org/getdoi.cfm?doi=10.1037/0022-3514.95.1.128

Flynn, F. J., & Lake, V. K. B. 2008. If you need help, just ask: Underestimating compliance with direct requests for help. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(1): 128–143.

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Abby Davisson's avatar

Thanks for sharing this research, Colin! There are so many compelling research-backed reasons to ask!

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Todd Kashdan's avatar

Love all the science in here.

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Abby Davisson's avatar

Thanks, Todd! I can’t resist a good research study.

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