Don't Move the Goal Posts on Yourself
Don't Move the Goal Posts on Yourself
And other life lessons from six months on Substack
Last week I celebrated six months of publishing on this platform. To mark this milestone, I’m sharing lessons I’ve learned from writing Practically Deliberate that also apply to life. But first, a few important announcements:
Congrats to Chéla, Margaret, and Eva — the paid subscribers who each won a Panda Planner of their very own.
My free 30 minute webinar on How to Make Big Life Decisions You Won’t Regret is happening this Friday, April 12 at 9 am PT. Register via this link to receive the recording and a resource on minimizing regret. I’ve been blown away by the response to this offering and just opened up more registration spots!
If you want to go deeper on decision-making, my four-week cohort based course (Make Big Life Decisions with More Ease and Less Angst) launches on April 26. Learn more here (and get $100 off with code DELIBERATE100).
Now, onto the lessons…
Define your why (or have it be defined for you)
As someone who loves data, I’ve spent quality time with the Substack dashboard. HarperCollins, my publisher, lacks an easy way for authors to track book sales, so I’ve appreciated how Substack lets me easily track paid and free subscribers; open rates; and where my readers live.1
However, the flip side of these numbers being readily available is the temptation to define success solely by them. It’s a verse of the same siren song of capitalism that implies the value of your work is defined by your paycheck.
I’m trying my hardest to resist it.
For me, that means proactively defining my why, lest the numbers become my why.
Recently,
(whose newsletter-related insights gave me the kick in the pants to finally start this one) posted a note asking people’s thoughts on subscriber numbers.
As you can see in my response, my “why” is to a) nurture a creative practice and b) help people. I’m celebrating six months of consistent writing, so I’m definitely doing a); I can tell I’m doing b) when people like and comment on a post; share it with a friend; reply saying “I needed to read this today”; or upgrade to a paid subscription.
All of which is to say, please keep the feedback coming! It means more than you know.
Don’t move the goal posts on yourself
My toxic trait? When I get close to accomplishing a goal, I have a tendency to set a new one that’s even farther away.
Not only that, I can be quick to skip over the celebration for the thing I did to focus on the thing I haven’t yet done.
I imagine that many of you can relate.
When I started Practically Deliberate, I set the ambitious yet realistic goal of writing two newsletters a month. And I did it! But in four of the last six months, I actually wrote three. In other words, I moved the goal posts on myself.
When I decided to take my trip last month (which I still don’t regret!), I had to convince myself that posting “only” twice in March was fine. In other words, it was ok to simply meet my goal, not exceed it (I told you it was a toxic trait!).
The photo below was taken at the celebration for the first in-person book event Myra and I did for Money and Love, a peak moment. I love everything about this picture.
I printed a copy to remind myself not to skip over the celebration. It’s framed and sitting right on my desk so I can’t ignore it. I look at it while I’m writing this newsletter! And yet it’s still hard for me to celebrate and keep those goal posts where they are.
If you’re like me, let this be your reminder: don’t move the goal posts. And celebrate!
(I’m trying to take my own advice, hence this post!)
Create your community
I’m an extrovert, and writing is a solo act. While it often puts me in flow, it doesn’t always provide the community I crave.
So I’ve found ways to create my community. Before I launched, I reached out to two talented author friends and proposed we start a Substack newsletter accountability and support group (affectionately called SNAS). They agreed, and the three of us connect regularly to trade tips on what’s working, what’s not, and generally cheer each other on. This group brings shared joy into what is otherwise a solitary pursuit.
I’ve also reached out to writers whose newsletters I admire, and I’ve had lovely discussions with them. To a person, they’ve been refreshingly friendly, collaborative, and supportive.
Just because something is a solo act doesn’t mean it can’t also involve a community. You may just have to build it deliberately.
Abby’s Latest
Today’s post has three bonus lessons for paid subscribers, so I’m moving this section up so everyone can see it.
On the topics of celebrations and community, I wanted to take a moment to share an electronic invitation service I’m loving called Greenvelope.
My younger son’s birthday is coming up next month, and he’s been VERY focused on his party. I recently sent out his birthday invitations, and it reminded me how much I appreciate Greenvelope.
We no longer invite all parents and siblings to birthday gatherings, but we’re not yet at the point where my kids just text their friends about it (thank goodness). Other popular e-invitation services only allow for one adult’s email to be connected to a kid’s invitation (in 2024, that’s antiquated, problematic, and limiting). Greenvelope has not only figured that part out, its invitations are beautiful and its site is user friendly. And it’s not only for kid parties; several friends have used it for weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs and have been happy with it.
Planning an upcoming celebration? If you sign up for Greenvelope using this link, you get $20 and I get $20. Win/win!
What I wish I’d known six months ago…
As a bonus for paid subscribers, I’m sharing three things I’ve learned the hard way over the last six months — aka, “what I wish I’d known before starting this newsletter.”
Why for paid subscribers? I truly appreciate all Practically Deliberate readers, but paid subscribers have a special place in my heart.
Not because I need dollars to reassure me that my writing is worthwhile (though they certainly don’t hurt!), but because I vastly underestimated what it would take to write a bi-weekly newsletter.
I love writing Practically Deliberate, and paid subscriptions make it more sustainable for me to spend time pulling it together. These bonus insights are my way of saying thank you to paid subscribers for not only inviting me into your inbox but for investing in this newsletter financially.
(If you’re considering starting a newsletter or have recently started one, it might just be worth unlocking your free post to read on — or considering joining the ranks of paid subscribers!)